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Joke of the Day

"What did the pirate say when asked how old he was? Aye Matey!"

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"Percentage of Childhood Obesity by U.S. State in 2011 x-post from /r/dataisbeautiful"
"I once installed a sky light in my apartment. Boy were my upstairs neighbors pissed."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beck ! Beck who ? Beckfast of champions !"
"When an oppressed people demand a democracy I wonder if they realize we created obesity, the piano neck tie, and Keanu Reeves."
"How do you make an idiot easily wait ? I tell you tomorrow."
"BREAKING NEWS Literally to be eliminated from the English language in 2015 Use it while you can, white girls"
"I like my sex like I like my belts... If it's not tight enough, I'll move it to another hole ."
"Why is it that.. ..we still fall for click bait titles?"
"It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce, he's a rocket man."