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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a guy who fucks himself? [Ethan Hawke](http://i.imgur.com/tXrW7HU.jpg)."

"I use to be terrified of speed bumps... But I slowly got over it."

"How about I slip down your chimney, at half past midnight?"

"Want to depress yourself? Realize that someday Tom Hanks will die. Want to cheer yourself up? Remember that right now, Tom Hanks is alive."

"Why did Snoop Dogg buy an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"What do you call a starving robot from space? A C3POpian"

"[NSFW] The worst part about kissing my wife after a blowjob... Is wondering if she can taste the other guy's dick."

"Why is pound cake called pound cake? Because it pounds your anus!"

"Ten years from now mankind will be illiterate, and we'll only communicate through pictures of our breakfasts."

"Q: Why do blondes stand under light bulbs? A: It's the closest they'll come to a bright idea."