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Joke of the Day
"I once swallowed two separate strings and they came out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot."
Next Joke
"One windmill asked another what kind of music it likes The other windmill responded ""I'm a big metal fan"""
"Dear shaving commercials: please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress us, try shaving a gorilla."
"Ugh don't you hate it when you accidentally leave the volume up on your phone & the next stall hears the *click* when you snapchat your turd"
"If steroids are illegal for athletes, then Photoshop should be illegal for models"
"6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter."
"Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or you're taking sh!t from some @sshole!"
"Why didn't the proctologist show up for work? He had two cars, but he rectum both."
"""Let's walk over there"" ""ok"" -couple a cows"
"A magician's wife gives birth to a long series of brightly colored scarves"