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Joke of the Day

"Just found out I have a tumor in my ladyparts... It's one of those that can be known to have hair, teeth and bone in it. I don't what I should do. I'll probably just get an abortion though."

"My grandma bought my grandpa a new pair of pants. When she asked how they fit, he responded ""like a cheap castle. There's no ball room."""

"Angry Birds for Olympics: Instead of hitting two birds with one stone, here you can hit two stones with one bird."

"I do all the wrong things the right way."

"What does a redneck and yeast have in common? They are both ""in-bread"" Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke."

"DUI checkpoint cop: sir, have u been drinking tonight me: define sir"

"I wondered why everyone said I had ""bed hair"", until I looked in the mirror and noticed a tiny mattress on top of my head."

"What's black and white and can't fit through a door? (x-post r/AntiJokes) A zebra with a spear through its head."

"Absolutely love holding my son, I can't stop looking at him. Whoops! This is a churro. It's just a churro."

"YES! Some of the breast augmentation websites aren't blocked at work! SWEET FREEDOM!!!"