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Joke of the Day

"Hey, say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they slow down in school zones."

"Q. What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? A. Artificial intelligence."

"roses are red... Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, cheese on toast."

"Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ? ""Why are we running so fast ?"" said one Because it says ""Tear along the dotted line"""

"How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia? By saying Alderaan things."

"Santa joke Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only cums once a year, and when he does it's down a chimney."

"I'm sorry I tried to steal your baby, but my kids don't smell good anymore."

"Your Lawyer and your Wife are drowning! Quick! You must make a decision!! Should you go to the movies, or order pizza?"

"When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now."

"Not to mention trempe If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine."