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Joke of the Day

"roses are red... Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, cheese on toast."

"What's the difference between 3 and 13? Nothing, they both have 1 3"

"Ever since the news came out about Samsung.... Their phones have been blowing up."

"Yo Mama is so fat...when she took her shirt off at the strip clubeveryone thought she was Jabba The Hut from Star Wars"

"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."

"When I started doing stand-up, I didn't have a lot of my own material, so I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes I still do, but I used to too."

"Knock Knock! Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the pool please, I'm dwaoning!"

"I've asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of crying baby next to me It turns out you can't do that if baby is yours."

"If breaking a mirror is 7 years bad luck then breaking a condom is 18, right?"

"Doctor Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed what can I do? Saw the legs off of your bed!"