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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that CAN gather information from incomplete data"

"Why don't dentists display their awards? Because they want to prevent plaque build-up."

"If these walls could talk I'd fuckin' move out immediately."

"[gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] ""It's negative"" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative"

"I wonder how many crimes The Muppets have kermitted."

"Sean Connery the plumber, available 24/7, rain or shnow. Becaushe the shitty never shleeps."

"Whats the most confusing day in Detroit? Fathers day."

"Somebody told the terminator to update his Microsoft windows, his response- ""I still love vista, baby"""

"You haven't seen true happiness until you've looked into the face of a white person when The Cha Cha Slide comes on at a wedding."

"Two old ladies sitting in a doctor's office in Florida... The one says to the other, ""I can't see, I can't hear anything and I can barely walk. Thank God I can still drive."""