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Joke of the Day

"I hope one day to be dating a moderator from /r/jokes... Everything is long from their point of view!!"

"If Donald Trump thinks America doesn't win anymore, he can tell that to Marvin Walters who won $100,000 playing Fun 5's in the Ohio Lottery!"

"DNA doesn't make you a parent. Stepping on a lego guy on your way to the bathroom at 3 am does"

"A colorblind person logged onto Facebook the day SCOTUS legalized gay marriage... ""Hey everyone, why are you all advertising for '50 Shades of Grey'?"""

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane ? A pilot, of course."

"Why did the chewing gum cross the road? 'Cause I stepped on it."

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Spaniard walk into a bar.. The Icelander couldn't come because he was still at the European Cup"

"I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet... so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately."

"People always tell me not to piss in the shower... ...but you know, it's difficult not to when you're taking a shit"