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Joke of the Day

"Why does it take 2 feminists to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the lightbulb and one to give me a blow job while I supervise."

"I went to a bar that only served beer in cans,and bottles. Seems the place had a draught excluder."

"Adulthood is like the part in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy tries to runaway from her problems, but then SURPRISE, there is also a tornado."

"A man has a steering wheel coming out of his fly First man, why is that steering whell coming out of your fly? Second man, It's driving me nuts."

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks"

"Three blondes walked into a building you'd think one of them would have seen it..."

"""Hi mom, don't worry but I'm in the hospital."" ""Heinz, stop calling me like that. You are now a doctor since 8 years."""

"Looks like I'm finally going to meet my twitter crush, don't know if I should diet or let him find out the hard way Im good w camera angles"

"The cashier is telling me to ""have a nice day,"" but judging by her tone she wants me to ""die in a tire fire."""

"They say that murder rates go down with more employment, so I bet if we gave everybody jobs murdering people, they'd be really bad at it."