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Joke of the Day

"When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help."

"What do right-handed people hate most? [NSFW] Having to switch hands at the computer."

"I'm really impressed by both Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner... Both women got famous by making a dick disappear."

"Three guys walk into a bar... You think the third guy would have learned to duck."

"My run today was like my last date. Short, slow, and frigid."

"I took this girl home after our date... Her: When you said magical in bed this isn't what I expe- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card? Her: *softly* holy shit"

"Made this one up today: How do you stop joint pain? Turn it around."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian says, ""It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."""

"Did you hear about the Navy hangar that doubles as a church? It's a house of warship"

"How many LAPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to beat the bulb for being broke, another to shoot the room for being black."