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Joke of the Day

"I'm really impressed by both Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner... Both women got famous by making a dick disappear."

"You know when your girlfriend is horny when you put your hand down her pants and... it feels like you are feeding a horse."

"A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because he's a fucking creep"

"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."

"Here's a broom go sweep the floors... 'Here's a broom go sweep the floors.' 'But I have a PhD...' 'Oh, I'm sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done.'"

"If I win Powerball, I'm having at least six of you killed. Four of you know who you are. I think the other two will be very surprised."

"Fish I've got a great pet fish. I called him home. He is an absolutely wonderful fish! You might even say there's no plaice like home!"

"How long do you have to wait between naps?"

"Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one."