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Joke of the Day

"BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive"

"Diarrhea is too hard to spell so I call it crapplesauce"

"A 92 year old man I randomly met told me this one: What do you get when you cross a turkey and a cat? A pussy gobbler."

"So far my favorite part about being pregnant is telling people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due."

"The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"I've never been a great salesman I'll tell you that for free"

"Every program I write is completely error free No exceptions"

"A bandit walks into an old west bank... and yells, ""alright, I want all you mother stickers down on the ground - this is a fuck up!"""

"What's the most indian bone in the human body? The patella. (I'll show myself out)"

"What did the gold miner say when he met the singer of Pink Floyd? Au"