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Joke of the Day

"BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive"

"""Just be yourself"" is great advice to maybe 12% of people."

"Why people use Twitter: because updating 100 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable."

"What's the joke where the punchline is 'thats the punch-line' ? This is no joke."

"*interview* So, why do you want to be a judge? *Imagines myself going work everyday in my robe* ""To fight crime"""

"What's brown and sticky? A stick!"

"MAMA DUCK, BABY DUCK Q: What did did the mother duck say to her duckling? A: ""If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."""

"bad feelings when others left home they are thinking: did i closed the window... did i closed the fridge...? when i left home: did i delete my history?"

"I can't prove God isn't real, but at the same time, I can't prove that my dog doesn't run a violent Asian street gang while I'm asleep."

"Mel Gibson, Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are showing up."