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Joke of the Day
"Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'"
Next Joke
"The fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate ""fuck you"" to trees."
"I like my women like I like my coffee Black, bitter, and preferably fair trade"
"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table... And then some chairs... And then a plate Glass window..."
"It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough."
"I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween, so I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in... Fuck the ships ! My lighthouse, my rules !"
"A little girl asks her mom, ""Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?"" Her mom replies, ""Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."""
"My British friend asked me, ""Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?"" I told him, ""Dude, we literally drive on the right side."""
"A guy walks up to a girl in Starbucks Hey girl, how would you like to be my skinny vanilla latte? go light on the cream though, that's for later."
"What's the difference between a racist joke and a sexist joke? Racist jokes are offensive."