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Joke of the Day

"My British friend asked me, ""Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?"" I told him, ""Dude, we literally drive on the right side."""

"What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini."

"a man comes into a bar... or was it a horse? yeah i think it was a horse. so a man comes into a horse...."

"1985: call me on the new line in my room 2000: call me on my mobile flip phone 2015: don't call me"

"A Chicken and an Egg are laying in bed together. The chicken takes an unsatisfied drag on her cigarette and says ""Well. I guess we answered that question."""

"I just broke up with my blind girlfriend. We just didn't see eye to eye anymore."

"Let's get naughty and save Santa the trip."

"I told my girlfriend that she drew her eyebrows too high She looked surprised."

"When life gives you lemons....a simple operation can give you melons. All the joke is in the title, so you can save that click."

"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."