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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a racist joke and a sexist joke? Racist jokes are offensive."

"Fun prank: tell your kid World War II ended by the Americans dropping an F-bomb on Japan. Then later when his teacher calls, act shocked."

"How do you call a corn that is unique? A unicorn."

"What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome."

"What was the slutty nurse looking for in October? A Hallowiener."

"Are you a great at fishing? So you're a Mastur""bait""er"

"My neighbor came over and knocked on my door at 3 a.m. the other night. Three in the morning, can you believe it?! He was lucky I was still up playing my drums."

"Marijuana doesn't kill your brain cells. You're just an idiot."

"My son got kicked out of school for letting a girl jerk him off in class. That's three schools now. Maybe teaching isn't for him. (Joke by Jimmy Carr)"

"How to cow tip: First, sneak up behind the cow. Next, get into a wide stance. Finally, slip the money into it's bell."