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Joke of the Day

"My GPS just did a shoulder shrug and said, ""uhm, take a left here?"" This can't be good."

"What came before the Big Bang? The Big Foreplay."

"What's big, white and goes down on you in the middle of the night? An Airbus A320."

"What do you call a nun that sleep walks? A roamin' catholic"

"What is it with people who text and drive? I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them."

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"

"Q: Why'd the robber take a bath? A: He wanted to make a clean getaway."

"A good way to start a conversation is 'What's your favorite color'. A good way to end a conversation is What's your favourite colour of a person."

"OBAMA IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!! ME: OMG *clutches guns* [7 years later] ME (frustratedly checking my watch): This guy is taking forever"

"Which movie is on every man's bucket list? Die Hard"