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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"

"What's pink and sits on a piano chair? Elton's John"

".@WebMD a girl just texted me ""K"" am i going to die"

"Conjunctivitis.com There's a site for sore eyes"

"My 4yo: Dad, you're old, right? Me: I'm not that old. 4: You're not new. Me: Go to bed."

"Spoiler Alert: In the season finale of Game of Thrones, YOU die."

"Dayum girl, did you fall down from heaven? Cuzz ur face is fcked up."

"How to equally divide a cake among five people with only three cuts Slice three people with your knife and ask the last, ""Do you also want a piece?"""

"Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same."

"Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ? So he could tell the time at night !"