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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? Ask them to say the word **unionized**"

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"You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles."
"I hope my girlfriend enjoys long, romantic walks... ...because I don't have a car."
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. Because they always take things literally."
"Life is like a penis.. Women make it harder.."
"What would a Prius minivan be called? Post-us"
"What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White? Shaking Bad."
"""I'm up for anything"" - penises"
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder my ass. I haven't been on Myspace in years and I still think it fucking sucks."
"What kind of database does a Pokedex use? PokeMongoDB"