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Joke of the Day

"I hope my girlfriend enjoys long, romantic walks... ...because I don't have a car."

"Your momas so fat... You just lost the game inb4 downvotes and madfags"

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it."

"I think someone just called me a ""beach""... But I can't be shore."

"Why can't black people be virgins? Because they're born fucked."

"Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars."

"Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the OTTER side!"

"So an interviewer asked me a question.. A: Your greatest weakness? B: Interpreting semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmaticsA: Could you give an example?B: Yes, I could"

"What Time Is It? Its time for lunch."