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Joke of the Day

"""I'm up for anything"" - penises"

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"Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder."
"A blind man enters a fishmarket... ""Hello Ladies"""
"Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry."
"What is the opposite of progress? [](/colgatereally)Congress."
"What does the penis say to the condom? Cover me I'm going in."
"How did people know Patrick Stewart was crying? Because he bawled."
"I don't know about you, but I could really go for a punch in your face right now."
"My husband is doing that cute thing where he would happily drive into oncoming traffic & kill us all while trying to find a bug on his leg."
"What's long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine"