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Joke of the Day
"I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer."
Next Joke
"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."
"Happy new year everyone! Sorry, I'm a premature congratulator."
"What do you call a bird that believes in the change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory of science? A *parrot*-digm shift."
"People that pronounce vase like ""voz"" make me want to punch them in the foz."
"When you lick the icing off a spoon... Are you defrosting it?"
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee *before* it was cool. :-)"
"Why can't Pirates spell the alfhabet? RRRRRRRRRRRRRgh"
"My silent frog died... After a noiseless life and a drawn out death, the little guy finally croaked."
"If u ever can't get to sleep, think of your sex life. That's boring enough."