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Joke of the Day

"Every time I eat a banana in public, a stranger offers me money to do it in private. I ate 32 bananas today & made $725. I have diarrhea."

"How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd? They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips."

"They take away old people's drivers licenses, but old people wreak much more death & destruction with their email forwards."

"Police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly underwear But the chief inspector said they must wear their normal uniforms."

"My ex-girlfriend... Bent my car's hood,but it was my fault a little bit too I was just a little bit over the legal speed."

"My friend got a tattoo of his wife's name so I guess he loves her as much as he loves barbed wire."

"A man streaked passed two old women in the park... the first one had a stroke; the other missed"

"What did one black guy say to another black guy? We're both black guys."

"What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers? Bernie Sanders."

"A snake met an elephant one day and laughed 'Look at you, you have a dick on your face!' The elephant replied, 'Better than you, your face is on your dick!'"