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Joke of the Day

"some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor"

"I had some bad middle eastern food yesterday I just felafel afterwards."

"I met my girlfriend on 11/1/14... But it's now 12/31/15. She's destroyed my KDA this game."

"I just clogged a urinal?"

"Star Wars: The Force Awakens comes out this week. I predict someone will shoot up a theater Don't worry though, it'll be a storm trooper and he'll miss everyone."

"You hear about the NBA player who married a midget? He was nuts over her."

"Kidnapping is such a strong word. I prefer the term, ""surprise adoption""."

"want to hear my limousine joke na its too long"

"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently, she left me a few days ago."