20186

Joke of the Day

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently, she left me a few days ago."

"This lady at the Edible Arrangement store acts like no one's ever asked for a corn dog bouquet before."

"Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes."

"Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore."

"*leans into microphone* My question is for Salt-N-Pepa. ""Hi"" ""Hey"" Hi.""Push It"" is about takin a dump, right? ""No"" ""Nope"" *hands friend $5*"

"After an argument with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I don't like to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"I never got a single blow job when I was at school. Other kids got sent to the head master all the time."

"The punchline was in the title Why did all the redditors downvote the joke?"

"Q: How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck? A: Trying to save both faces."

"People: Are you single? me: no i'm Album"