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Joke of the Day

"Any dance can be a no pants dance. In fact, might be a fun way to bring back the Macarena"

"I wish I could find a girl that loved me as much as she loves her hair."

"Did you hear about the German doing an impression at the talent show? He did the wurst."

"Usually chocolate makes me hyper but my dog ate a pack of Snickers and he's been asleep for hours. Haha wake up so we can play, little guy."

"Worldwide Survey A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,158,783,476 people, 95% were too lazy to actually read that number."

"Basically if your movie trailer features a close-up of a glass of rippling water I'm assuming that your movie will have dinosaurs."

"A world without women would be a pain in the ass."

"I had a friend who had a fear of flying. I told him that statistically, the modern airplane is more afraid of us than we are of it."

"Why did C++ look down at C? It thought C lacked class. i'll see myself out"

"I don't get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I'm in my underwear making a sandwich."