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Joke of the Day

"The coolest suicide would be to moisturize and not stop moisturizing until you become a tiny pond that fish and turtles live in"

"Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs? They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)"

"I like my women like I like my milk... Rich, white, and 2% fat"

"Today my 6yo said it was good it's snowing, as that means the earth isn't getting hotter, and tonight she starts as an anchor on Fox News."

"What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do? Circuit training."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buckle ! Buckle who ? Buckle get you a drink but not much else !"

"I wanna be rich enough to have 11 midgets who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast"

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"What is the meaning of afford? It's the car most sales representatives drive."

"'What just cracked?' A guide to aging."