16114

Joke of the Day

"The best way to get the woman of your dreams is to comment ""gorgeous"" on a minimum of 52 of her selfies."

"""Lord, can I have a pony?"" Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it."

"What's the best vegetable to bring to a party? Stephen Hawking"

"I think if a little girl wants to grow up and be a Tyrannosaurus Rex that's totally fine, and science shouldn't stop her."

"According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole."

"I farted in an Apple store today and everyone yelled at me... Like it's my fault they don't have Windows..."

"If you pronounce the word vase like ""voz"" I'm gonna want to punch you in the foz"

"I broke my leg while visiting America At least I got a good taste of their hospitality."

"Women defy physics. The heavier they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"At work I noticed the computer department have started putting Christmas decorations up IT's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."