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Joke of the Day

"I think if a little girl wants to grow up and be a Tyrannosaurus Rex that's totally fine, and science shouldn't stop her."

"You get what you get and you don't get upset... You have cancer."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies."

"If you open a door for me, I will lick you. Sometimes it's awkward."

"Why do pediatricians get so frustrated? They have very little patients."

"(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?"

"What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ? Dental floss !"

"Dating websites I was on eharmony last night, why did it ask my height in inches?"

"""Yo mama is so fat, when she was cremated all the flights in Europe got cancelled.""-my 10 year old cousin. right now."

"""So, why do you want to be a veterinarian?"" [pictures an army of cyborg dogs with laser eyes and jet packs] ...I love to help animals."