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Joke of the Day
"According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole."
Next Joke
"Don't ask the Norse professor about his old subject... It's a Thor subject. And he still doesn't want to Friggen talk about it."
"Computing Pirates What's a pirate's favorite computer language? Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C"
"I bet you'll watch the cell phone camera footage of this concert for years & remember the fun you had holding up a cell phone at a concert."
"Why are black people so tall? Because their knee grows."
"If you need help staying awake, subtract sheep in your head."
"What do you do when the dishwasher stops working? You tell her to get back to work."
"[first day as homicide detective] Cop: any signs of forced entry? Me: yeah, a bullet somehow forced its way through his face & into his head"
"What did Donald Trump say to the Mexicans? You're hired! But don't tell anyone."
"Bruce Jenner just got rooted by his own son Right in the pussy"