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Joke of the Day

"If you pronounce the word vase like ""voz"" I'm gonna want to punch you in the foz"

"Boss: go to hell Me: so stay? or leave? I'm confused"

"Dress for the job you want others to think you have."

"What does a dog have in common with a near-sighted gynecologist? They both have wet noses."

"I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes."

"Billy Joel: You may be right, I may be crazy! But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for... Billy Joel's 3 ex-wives: Yeah. Nope."

"There's a new drinking game... You draw a random card from a deck & if it's black you take a shot.... We call it ""Ferguson"""

"Bloody Foreigner... ...coming over here, wanting to know what love is."

"What sound does a cow make? ""Moooo"" Good, a duck? ""Quack"" Good, how about a seal? ""My power my PLEASURE MY PAIN, babaaaayyy"

"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, But when i got home all the signs were there."