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Joke of the Day

"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."

"Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky... The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit suicide!"

"Why are there no homosexual traffic lights? They can't change, even if they try."

"What should you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off."

"Me: Rest assured I will go to the grave with your secret. Pat: Thank you. Me: Unfortunately so will my golfing buddies."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead but also every night so I don't die."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand A neutron walks into a bar, and asks: ""How much for a drink?"". To which the bartender replies: ""For you, no charge"""

"Who did the chickens vote for president? Baraaaaaak Obama"

"A rabbi, a nun, and a horse walk into a bar, bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""