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Joke of the Day

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand A neutron walks into a bar, and asks: ""How much for a drink?"". To which the bartender replies: ""For you, no charge"""

"I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps."

"Getting a caricature drawing of yourself is basically the only time you pay money for someone to brutally own you."

"Give a man a fish, where's he supposed to put it? Get away from him you weirdo."

"It's sad that my girlfriend's name is Palmela Handerson"

"So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ... Only problem is, I can never tell if it's just buffering or if he's having a stroke."

"Nursing Problems As a Nurse, its my job to have patients - Oh the irony in how the 'patients' have absolutely no patience for me. My job is to save your ass..(colonoscopy etc.) Not Kiss It. :D"

"what kind of knife is used to perform female circumcision? a beaver cleaver"

"What's the opposite of ennui? Off-ui. from *Gilmore Girls*."

"What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm? Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour."