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Joke of the Day

"Wife wants to relax today! Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets. Husband: why three tickets? Wife: you and your parents. "

"So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, ""I do."" is not the correct answer."

"The Japanese have two words for dog One is as a pet, the other is as a meal"

"I was trying to get a top comment on Reddit... But I Blueit"

"Birds can be dangerous. Do you know what's the primary risk that woodpeckers pose to women? Splinters."

"How can you tell if a hippie has been in your house? ...he's still there"

"What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant? They both have wings, except for the elephant."

"Sure, but when I pull men out of a hole in the ground it's called, ""homoerotic necrophelia."" Double standard, Chile."

"[stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob"

"What does the tree says in autumn ? Leaf me alone."