160552

Joke of the Day

"I was injured in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side, I did make $23 and I think this old lady's watch looks really good on me."

"How do you tell a good joke on reddit? Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!"

"I eventually understood USB Type C design... And now, I can't really see any downside in it"

"What is common between my ex-wife and my last job? They don't suck anymore."

"Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee"

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word."

"I wrote a book about Homeopathy.... I named it 1001 uses of Alcohol."

"Black Car I want a black car with a bumper sticker that says ""I'm not racist, my car is black."""

"What's the great thing about 25 year olds? There's 20 of them."