160552

Joke of the Day

"I was injured in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side, I did make $23 and I think this old lady's watch looks really good on me."

"Warning: Game of Thrones Spoilers Will make your car look fucking stupid"

"Where did little annie go after the explosion? Everywhere!!"

"One thing I've learned about getting older is that not everything is as how it appears. Or I need new glasses. Again."

"I'm starting a band. It'll be called ""The disease"" just so I can call Chris Martin to tell him he is part of neither the cure nor the disease."

"How many christians does it take to change a lightbulb? three, but they're really one"

"I was going to take another trip to the pencil museum but decided it was pointless."

"What word starts with ""n"" and you never want to call a black person? Neighbor"

"A cat goes to the vet with a septic infection. Hello Pus, said the vet."

"I have no respect for mules. Everything they do is half-assed."