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Joke of the Day
"[job interview] ""So what are your goals for working here?"" To be home by noon..."
Next Joke
"Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming? She's afraid of heights."
"Joke of the Day [Saw this on Monsters Inc when watching it today](http://i.imgur.com/32l1PsS.jpg)"
"My grandma used to say, ""I'll give you something to cry about!"", and then she'd toss a severed hand in my lap."
"Roses are red, I have a phone, no one texts me, forever alone."
"The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite So he went back four seconds."
"DR DOG: The test results came back. PATIENT: Oh God DR DOG: The tumor is-- *sees a squirrel out the window and takes off*"
"I hate roller coasters. They always have so much potential, then they go downhill."
"I used to make jokes about Japanese eggs... But I quit a long tamago."
"Why do all the ladies love Jesus? (spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this."