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Joke of the Day

"Got my right hand a Valentines Day card. Had to sign it with my left hand so it will be a surprise."

"Three kittens were on a roof, which slipped off first? The one with the lowest mew"

"When i used to work for walgreens and the security system would go off the employees would say ""run!"" I guess it was the running joke."

"Did you hear about that guy going around stealing everybody's Flamin' Hot Cheetos? He was caught red-handed! ...I'll see myself to the door."

"""Your generation relies too much on technology"", my grandpa said. ""No, your generation relies too much on technology"", I replied, then I unplugged his life support."

"I farted in a room full of hipsters.. then watched them fight over who heard it first."

"You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus."

"So, 50 Cent is bankrupt... He only has 50 Cent to his name."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns But then he forgot, Toucan play that game"