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Joke of the Day

"Got my right hand a Valentines Day card. Had to sign it with my left hand so it will be a surprise."

"No thanks Facebook Live, if I wanted to see people doing stupid things in real time I'd just go visit my family."

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I don't know. I don't have 2020 Vision."

"What did the cat say when he lost all his money ? I'm paw !"

"One time there was an Irishman who got so drunk He kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel"

"With some respect Son: Dad! Get your ass here! Mother: Son, you need to address your father with some respect. Son: Oh, ok. Dad! Get your ass here with some respect!"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just beat the room for being black"

"What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"What's a homophobic child's worst nightmare? A monster coming out of the closet"

"I guess it's time to lose some weight. I cut myself shaving and gravy came out..."