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Joke of the Day

"My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a constipated muppet trying to list off active ingredients in Children's Tylenol."

"How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb? The parents would love to know."

"Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead, who would they be? Me: Can they both be dead?"

"Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe? So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in."

"I like to play with words But there are only so many things you can do with a dictionary."

"What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant? I am saury."

"Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes? Could they not hire taller dancers?"

"Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I'm married to her and I don't even have a chance."

"What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal? Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side."

"""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?"" ""Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"" ""Not this time. Our dog died."""