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Joke of the Day

"""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?"" ""Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"" ""Not this time. Our dog died."""

Next Joke
 
"So Aliens Arrive ""Earth has a species with advanced warfare, they seem intelligent."" ""No, they have it aimed at themselves."""
"Stop making fun of the fat girl Shes thick and tired of it."
"I finally figured out the secret to click bait."
"My roommate is on a date and said he's convinced she's coming home with him tonight. I've covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait."
"""making decisions"" Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? . Student: Well...yes and no."
"You have something big inside you. Share it with the world: MetamucilTM"
"[I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do"
"Lately I've been really honest with people and so far only 47 people are mad at me"
"Guy to a friend, ""I just got a new job"" Friend ""oh yeah doing what?"" Guy ""fucking your mom, it's got good health benefits"""