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Joke of the Day
"Growing up, my parents nicknamed by penis 'Eamonn' I never managed to get all my pee in the bowl."
Next Joke
"Mickey Mouse divorces Minnie Mouse ""Mickey Mouse, it says here that you want to divorce Minnie Mouse because she was.... extremely silly? ""No, I said she was fucking goofy."""
"What's the definition of trust? Two cannibals blowing each other."
"I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out"
"Bad day? Just remember, there are folks that have their ex's name tattooed on their body. Merica."
"Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them."
"What do you call a bird that believes in the change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory of science? A *parrot*-digm shift."
"I once played golf with a Kiwi The RSPCA showed up the next day."
"My body is telling me to go to sleep but my brain knows that there are Oreos in the pantry."
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, WOW! that one REALLY looked female."