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Joke of the Day

"Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them."

"Apparently googling ""how to get suspended with pay"" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer."

"Tampax has announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel. This is for the Christmas period only."

"How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper? The elevator was broken!"

"Did you know that Rick Astley will give you any movie from his collection Except one, he is Never Gonna Give You UP"

"The angry moment when you plug your charger into your phone but you realize hours later your charger wasn't plugged in."

"Terrifying to think that one puff of marijuana can transform your life into a carnival of lies & ultimately, murder."

"Don't be a racist! Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican. Oh and he jumps like a Black man and grabs coins like a Jew."

"I have a pet dog who can speak. Today I walked in to my house, and he was right there waiting for me. I asked him, ""Hai Buddy, How was your day ?"" And he goes: "" rrrrRough """

"how much morning wood, would my girlfriend suck, if she ever sucked and if I had a girlfriend. Whatever."