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Joke of the Day

"Harambe walks into a bar Bartender: What will you be drinking? Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe."

"Hear about psych on netflix? Thats messed up"

"PROFILE PICTURES: What people want other people to think they look like. TAGGED PICTURES: What they actually look like."

"Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say ""What's up, Chad?"" & he'll be all ""Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"""

"If you ever meet a girl named stone... Don't take her for granite"

"Someone told me Trump is in bed with Russia. And that someone is Putin it in."

"Don't forget to pay your taxes this year so the Government can give it to people that don't work as hard as you."

"I used to work at a muffler shop... That shit was exhausting. Then I got a job a vacuum store, but it sucked even more."

"I saw a beautiful pumpkin today... It was gourdeous."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani school and a Pakistani outpost? I don't know, I just fly the drone... *(Please don't hate me)*"