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Joke of the Day
"I saw a beautiful pumpkin today... It was gourdeous."
Next Joke
"Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse...... horses are hung like Chuck Norris."
"Women are super awesome at remembering insults but we have the memory of a goldfish with compliments and need them repeated continually."
"Date: ""So, what do you want to be?"" Me: ""Impressed."""
"To the person who honked to get me out of my parking space faster, thank you for inspiring me to delete 3000 emails right here, right now."
"Babysitting Pro Tip: Make them play Dungeons & Dragons until they love it so their parents will never have to worry about teenage pregnancy."
"What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler."
"How much power does it take to move a tank? A horse"
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"
"Cecil the lion's brother was just poached in Zimbabwe That family is like the Stark family of the animal kingdom"