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Joke of the Day

"Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says ""Barack Obama 2016"" and buckle up for the ride of your life."

"A kid goes up to his dad with a question... ""Dad, can I ask you something?"" ""Of course."" ""You and mom are both white, but I'm black. Why?"" ""That party was so wild, it's a wonder you don't bark."""

"CASHIER: would you like to donate one dollar to charity? ME: no thank you SATAN (sitting on a throne made of human skulls): excellent choice"

"Breaking News: PIRATES STOPPED STEALING OIL TANKERS They switched to stealing tankers filled with printer ink..."

"I had my FIRST THREE WAY!!! There were a couple of no-shows, but I STILL HAD A GREAT TIME!!"

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs"

"Irony Just an alloy of Fe and Yttrium"

"When you ask if I want fries or salad, I'll pretend it's a tough choice and we'll enjoy a genial laugh before you bring me more ketchup."

"""SIRI, WHERE'S THE REMOTE?"" -- ""SIRI, BRING ME A BEER!"" -- ""SIRI, WHERE'S MY DINNER?"" -- Wife: ""She's either deaf, or had sex with you too."""

"The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute."