16020

Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to say the word, ""unionized""."

"Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!"

"Why is a reindeer like a gossip ? Because they are both tail bearers !"

"My kleptomania has always been a challenge, but stealing from this bakery really takes the cake."

"What has 100 legs but can't walk? 50 pairs of pants."

"I don't want to sound ignorant, but if I can't understand something, then it's stupid and I hate it."

"If you're able to read this, thank a teacher! If you can do busy work while wasted and watch an unrelated video, thank a substitute teacher!"

"what idiot called it a best man instead of a lord of the rings"

"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Wow. Nobody's ever asked me that. Interviewer: Take a minute to th- Me: Arendelle."

"I'll agree to almost anything if you set a cupcake in front of me. I won't be listening. Because...cupcake."