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Joke of the Day

"I'll agree to almost anything if you set a cupcake in front of me. I won't be listening. Because...cupcake."

"Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don't want her to meet her competition right away."

"How to explain non-alcoholic beer? It's like eating your sisters pussy, the taste is the same but you know something is not right."

"I once shook hands with Michael J Fox He seemed pretty offended, but in my defense, the room was cold."

"What do you call a really pompous person with high blood pressure? Hyperpretentious"

"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know probably more than eight, my basement is still dark."

"Watson asks Holmes What type of rock is this? It has many layers compressed together."

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" 384 my liege ""Ok, round them up"" 400 my liege"

"What's black and sits in the back of a cop car? The seat"

"Did you hear about the butcher that backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work."