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Joke of the Day

"Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?"

"why do people keep putting flag overlays on their avatar when tragedies happen? like i've seen it happen with france, brussels, gay marriage"

"Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone."

"I'm offended every time I talk to a stranger and I'm not offered candy."

"With inflation, it would be Mambo No. 6.59 in 2013"

"[at a farm] Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles Sheep: Look I got a new ""hairdo"" Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway"

"What do you call a woman that raps about woman's rights? Feminem"

"Q.: ""Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?"" Christie: ""I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."""

"My 4 year old loves wrestling with the family. He's Hulk Hogan, I'm The Rock and our 1 year old is the folding chair."

"What do you call a weed smoker with abs? A Narc."