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Joke of the Day

"Q.: ""Governor, what would you say if Trump picked you as his running mate?"" Christie: ""I'll close down that bridge when I get to it."""

"Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn't know who it was from."

"Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? Penis envy."

"Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit? A: The tame way -- unique up on him."

"If Iron Man and the Man of Steel were to team up, they'd be powerful alloys."

"If you encounter a bear you should either play dead or be so vibrant that the bear is like ""whatever this person seems exhausting."""

"""We're still looking for a side project"" Tornado: *raises hand* we could flip houses ""We've been over this, it's not what you think it is"""

"I like my woman how I like my wine Locked up in my cellar."

"Life is like a bag of jelly beans Everyone hates the black ones Edit: First time I've seen this tag! Woot Woot!"

"a contractor is just a regular tractor that rips people off"