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Joke of the Day

"I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night."

"ELF COP: You have the right to remain splendiferous! Anything you say will be wonderful-funderful! You CRIMINAL: Pls just take me to jail"

"Want to solve the energy crisis? Develop a car that runs on self-delusion. Me and my fellow Americans have an unlimited supply."

"A gymnast walks into a bar. She is promptly deducted five points"

"""Toilet joke * Dirty ""Toilet joke"" [Dirty] if it's yellow let it mellow if it's brown let it drown if it's red.... you could of spread?"

"My car is probably the most expensive bird toilet I own."

"My lighter has two settings: 1: Spark, spark, spark 2: No left eyebrow"

"What does a haunted hamburger say? MooooOOOoooOoo"

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow.""!"

"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."