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Joke of the Day
"This cat poop tastes like I'm about to get yelled at. -- Dogs"
Next Joke
"What's a redditors favorite governing body? The Fedoral Government."
"Is there a scientific name for the state where you're not hungry but you want to keep eating, besides ""awake"""
"Just once in my life... ...I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my dick is."
"How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows. When the light turns on they scatter."
"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines... Then your mom jumped on one!"
"Female Viagra. Niagara."
"[closes kitchen drawer gently and looks at son] I wasn't here *wife walks in with police officer* ""did you take a knife to a job interview"""
"How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it."
"I sat next to this attractive Thai girl on the train... I kept thinking *don't get an erection*,*don't get an erection*, but she did."