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Joke of the Day

"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines... Then your mom jumped on one!"

"Becoming a vegetarian Is a big missed steak."

"Make sure you tip your exorcist or else you can get repossessed."

"[friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!"

"#rubbishjokes Noah's diary - 39th day: ""The dragon pie was really scrumptious."""

"What does one dog say to the other when he just broke up with his girl friend? Go and retrieve her!"

"Amazing how a fight can break out at the grocery store over something as simple as knocking over someone's cart and demanding they fight you"

"When an old lady dies and then her husband dies a couple of weeks later, it isn't because his heart is broken. It's because he can't cook."

"What is Link's favorite Final Fantasy character? Zell, duh!"

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Actually, I should probably stop masturbating at this point."